The Jesus Stage

I'm a 33 year old man.  I call myself a man because anatomically  that is what I represent.  A man.  I think and act like (most) men do.  Soccer, beer, boobs, pleasure, sleeping in, not caring, porn, not watching romantic comedies...  But the truth is i'm a child.  A scared shitless boy who refuses to grow or just does not know how the fuck to do it.  

I have a job as a second grade teacher assistant.  This I do with all my love and respect.  I might feel too comfortable doing it, it's almost natural.  At the same time i'm surrounded by kids and that may disguise my lack of maturity.  Still, teaching is what I do and I do it with my heart.  This could be the one thing i'm certain of, but then again i'd still love to become the world's best filmmaker...

When it comes to love and relationships you can say I have the Midas Touch of Shit.  I have had the most amazing women love me deeply.  All of them ready to sacrifice traditions, ideals, purposes, inheritances, etc.  I never took importance in this, as a matter of fact, I never saw how selfish and immature and uncompromising my actions and words were.  I am an asshole.  and a dick.  Now i'm alone.  And those ladies deserve all the happiness this life can hand them.  They went through high tides of shit while dealing with me as their love partner.  I can still remember how happy they got when I, unconsciously, stopped being a selfish prick and pleased them in a way or another.  Their eyes gleamed as if thinking this man in front of me is just covered in shit but there is a diamond below, all he needs is a long shower.  that never came...  I apologize to each an every one of the women who had the ______________ of knowing me, living with me, making love to me.

The End (for now)